Tremble

Sometimes, all I can do is tremble. I am scared. Every day, I wake up wondering.
Wondering if this is what's supposed to be.
Wondering why I have this stuff in my life.
Wondering what I need to do to fix everything.
Wondering if I'll die.
Wondering why I feel so distant all of the time.
Wondering how I can write.
And it all scares me. I'm terrified now. Walking around, sitting in class, watching a movie, talking to friends. Everything scares me. Because I don't know if I'll lose it. I'm scared of my past. I'm scared of my future. And most of all, I'm scared for right now. The present.
I'm scared. All my hands do is tremble if they aren't writing or gesturing wildly. I'm a big bearded guy, and I just want to cry sometimes. Because I don't know. I don't know.
So I tremble. I am just scared.

Life isn't too good this way. Constantly worrying, constantly hurting. It's hard to be brave and smile. It's hard to be brave period. It's hard to keep it up. But I will. I will keep fighting. Every day is a fight, ad we're all battlefields. The most beautiful of battlefields.
Life is a beautiful thing. This is coming from a guy who has had a rough ride, so even if it hasn't been easy, it's still beautiful. Life can't be wasted asking why. It can't be wasted. We are made to love. Not sit back i our fear. Being scared isn't the worst thing. You don't have to be fearless to live, but you have to deal with the fear. And don't let it take you over.
You are alive.
You are breathing.
You are beautiful.
You are loved.
You are you.
Thanks.
Tyler