Love

So, today I realized I have fallen into old thought patterns. This wreck messed me up pretty bad. I've been pretty heavily medicated, hence the lack of posts. My brain has been mush. I'm still having issues with putting words together into sentences that make sense. But more importantly than that, I've forgotten that I love a few people.

To my little brother Zach- I'm sorry man. I haven't been a good big brother to you. I love you, man. I'll see you tomorrow I hope. This is short, but I'll talk to you tomorrow.

To my best friend/little brother- I've been ignoring you. I've treated you like garbage. I'm sorry man. I've just been dealing with heavy stuff and fighting off the urge to be reckless and all of that. I'm working on it. Trying to get better.

There's one more person that I've more than neglected.

You know who you are- I'm sorry. You know I love you. You kept me sane for almost two years. I abandoned you. I walked away. Said "fuck it" and walked away. I totally removed you from my life.
And it's the second time I've just walked out. This time I barely said a thing about it. Just stopped. You taught me to love people for who they are, and what they believe in. You taught me that my perception of love was messed up. You fixed it. You showed me how to love selflessly. I am sorry.

We are taught to not love. We are taught to walk away when things get hard. We are taught it's ok to give up, even if you really care because it takes too much effort. We are taught that love isn't always worth it.
Love is what keeps us moving. Love is the movement. I believe love conquers all. Love prevails. Love is. I was taught from a young age that love isn't nice. It isn't fair. It isn't even all that real. It's more of an idea. Not a visible, tangible thing.
I was wrong.
I have people in my life that when I see them, I feel love. I see it in their eyes. Their expressions. Their whole demeanor changes. Some people say love isn't real. They say it's fake. Made up. Love is real. I need love in my life. We all need more love in our lives.
Thanks for reading.
Tyler.