Breaking mottos, and learning lessons.

I've been in a mood lately. I think I have rediscovered some love in my life in the past few months.
I've spent the past almost three months avoiding a girl I love. She used to be the world to me. She's the one person who knows more about me than anyone else. The first person in a long time to really see who I am, to look past the exterior shell. I'd just stopped talking to her. I realized that she was the person who kickstarted me into changing how I lived my life. It's because of her that I grew up and matured. She showed me I had strength inside of me that I never would have found.
Yet I stopped talking to her. And avoided her. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want anything to do with her. I wanted to hate her. The other day, her and I had a talk. During this talk I realized I had broken a personal motto. Just give love to all.
No matter what, love everyone. I realized how stupid I had been. It was stupid of me to stop talking to her. But it also helped me.
I grew up a lot these past few months. I realized that I am not strong enough to make it on my own. I realized how much she did in my life. I realized that, left to my own devices, I end up bleeding from a cut on my head, with a concussion, half drunk, in a room full of people I don't know. I realized I end up being reckless to an extreme extent. I realized that I am weak when there's no one there to remind me why I need to be strong. To remind me why I need to love everyone, including myself.
I grew up a lot these past few months. I've gone hungry. I've been homeless. I've walked ten miles to find a place to sleep. I met new friends. I came to love the people around me even more. I began to appreciate small gestures of love. I began to feel loved. I began to feel happy. I began to feel alive. Losing everything to gain my life back was worth it.
Do I want to do it again? No. But it was worth it. I do love that girl. I still don't know whether or not I want to be around her, just because of history and such, but I am thankful for her.
I do hope that someone else can learn from my mistakes of taking people and things for granted, so they don't have to relearn like I did about living right. I do hope that people find love and hope in their lives. I hope because I love. I love because someone shared love with me.
Just give love to all. Share it.
And keep hoping.
Thanks.
Tyler.