Lately I've been stressed. Very very stressed. A lot has been going on, and it has severely affected me as a person.I've been letting the stress bog me down and make it impossible for me to live and function as a normal teenage guy. I mean sure, I will dominate you at Reach, and I get good grades and I have a good job, but I'm on autopilot most of the time.
I don't live for today. I stress about the future. I let the past hold me down. I let this negativity bring me down. It got to the point where I work all the time just to get away. I just stay Busy to stay distracted because distracted me is best me.
The thing is, I'm not the only one like this. I'm one of millions of people that do this. It's unhealthy. It's another thing that helps someone fall into depression. It makes it harder to pick ourselves up. It makes things worse.
I believe that everything is going to work out. That everything has a reason and that there is a lesson in everything that happens in life. Call me an idealist. Call me what you will, but I'm fairly certain in this. The trick is to look into things with a new perspective. Rather than looking how things have hurt you, look at how they made you stronger, and if they haven't, see how they can.
I know this all looks like a great plan on paper, but it's tough. It isn't a split-second change, it takes work. It takes perseverance. It takes help. Have someone help you live for today. Ask someone their perspective on something. Stay open, and stay strong. Thanks,
Tyler.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Trying
When I was younger, I never tried to do anything. I just did it. This carried with me. I still don't understand when someone says "I'll try." It makes no sense to me. Either you do it, or you don't. Can or can't.
A little while ago, I had a friend who struggled with depression. She drove me nuts. She would always just "try" to not injure herself. She'd "try" to go to sleep. It was always "try".
I hated it. I began to resent it. It really hurt our relationship. We talked all the time, and now we really don't.
I always prided myself on my open mind, on my willingness to accept everyone for the way they are. I wasn't being open to her though, or really anyone else that wouldn't say definitely whether or not they would do something. Instead, I would rather just ignore them and reject the fact that they can't say for sure.
I'm really working on this. We can't call ourselves open-minded if we reject someone else's actions. It's being hypocritical. What I'm saying is when you disapprove of something, put yourself in that person's shoes. Those shoes may just fit you a little tight, and may hurt to wear. Some people have lives that are quite a bit harder than you would imagine. That girl with the smile on her face all the time may have an abusive father that makes her feel awful about herself. That guy that can make anyone laugh may be severely depressed.
Don't judge people. Be understanding of other people. Don't isolate yourself from other's just because they're different.
Thanks,
Tyler.
A little while ago, I had a friend who struggled with depression. She drove me nuts. She would always just "try" to not injure herself. She'd "try" to go to sleep. It was always "try".
I hated it. I began to resent it. It really hurt our relationship. We talked all the time, and now we really don't.
I always prided myself on my open mind, on my willingness to accept everyone for the way they are. I wasn't being open to her though, or really anyone else that wouldn't say definitely whether or not they would do something. Instead, I would rather just ignore them and reject the fact that they can't say for sure.
I'm really working on this. We can't call ourselves open-minded if we reject someone else's actions. It's being hypocritical. What I'm saying is when you disapprove of something, put yourself in that person's shoes. Those shoes may just fit you a little tight, and may hurt to wear. Some people have lives that are quite a bit harder than you would imagine. That girl with the smile on her face all the time may have an abusive father that makes her feel awful about herself. That guy that can make anyone laugh may be severely depressed.
Don't judge people. Be understanding of other people. Don't isolate yourself from other's just because they're different.
Thanks,
Tyler.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Walls
"These walls won't betray me.
These walls are like my safety."
-Dead Celebrity Status "If These Walls Could Talk"
I build walls. Big ones. I build walls that are armor. I build walls to keep everyone else out. I build walls to protect myself. I build walls to protect everyone else from me. Mostly, I build walls to hide.
I hide my emotions. I hide my pain. I hide anything that makes me vulnerable. I guess you could call me paranoid. You could also say I'm a coward.
I'd rather people see me "happy", I guess. I want them to see the big goofy smile. I want them to see the energy. I want them to hear my laugh, and laugh with me. I want them to see the "best" part of me. The part of me that doesn't hurt. The part that can smile through anything.
"These walls are my safety." These walls are my armor, my shell. They're my excuse.
Truth is, I'm not a people person. I get nervous. I prefer being alone, sitting quietly. I'd be happy to live on my own in the middle of nowhere. I'm a person that feels pain. I'm a person that gets angry. A lot more than I should. I sit up at night and regret how I treat people.
Lately, I've been stepping out of these walls I love so much. I've been letting the imperfect Tyler show through. I haven't been as scared to show who I really am. I haven't been holding it all in.
I always believed these walls kept me sane. I believed they let me be the person I should be. I regret that. I missed so much of my senior year, just because I was hiding in myself and hiding in the misery of going to a different school than the one I planned on. I didn't give anything a chance just because I was so stubborn.
The next line of the song is, "But sometimes I feel like these walls drive me crazy." I agree with everything but the first two words. These walls drive me crazy. They keep me in a preset schedule, where every day, I do the same things, keeping the same routines.
I'll leave you with a question and a thank you.
Do you have walls?
Thanks,
Tyler.
These walls are like my safety."
-Dead Celebrity Status "If These Walls Could Talk"
I build walls. Big ones. I build walls that are armor. I build walls to keep everyone else out. I build walls to protect myself. I build walls to protect everyone else from me. Mostly, I build walls to hide.
I hide my emotions. I hide my pain. I hide anything that makes me vulnerable. I guess you could call me paranoid. You could also say I'm a coward.
I'd rather people see me "happy", I guess. I want them to see the big goofy smile. I want them to see the energy. I want them to hear my laugh, and laugh with me. I want them to see the "best" part of me. The part of me that doesn't hurt. The part that can smile through anything.
"These walls are my safety." These walls are my armor, my shell. They're my excuse.
Truth is, I'm not a people person. I get nervous. I prefer being alone, sitting quietly. I'd be happy to live on my own in the middle of nowhere. I'm a person that feels pain. I'm a person that gets angry. A lot more than I should. I sit up at night and regret how I treat people.
Lately, I've been stepping out of these walls I love so much. I've been letting the imperfect Tyler show through. I haven't been as scared to show who I really am. I haven't been holding it all in.
I always believed these walls kept me sane. I believed they let me be the person I should be. I regret that. I missed so much of my senior year, just because I was hiding in myself and hiding in the misery of going to a different school than the one I planned on. I didn't give anything a chance just because I was so stubborn.
The next line of the song is, "But sometimes I feel like these walls drive me crazy." I agree with everything but the first two words. These walls drive me crazy. They keep me in a preset schedule, where every day, I do the same things, keeping the same routines.
I'll leave you with a question and a thank you.
Do you have walls?
Thanks,
Tyler.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The next step
So, just recently, most seniors in the country graduated. Some are going to college. Some are joining the workforce. Some chose military. Some are just going to sit at home doing nothing.
The step from high school is huge. I have a lot of friends that rushed into the plans they made. Alot of these people are regretting it. I graduated early from high school. It was what I had always planned on doing. My high school wouldn't let me walk at graduation or even go to prom because of it.
Consider the consequences of your actions. Think on how they will affect the ones around you, your friends, family, and loved ones. Ask around. Ask people what they think about your plans. They may have some experience.
Really, just don't rush. Don't rush growing up. Childhood is precious, and when you lose it, it's gone forever.
Thanks,
Tyler.
The step from high school is huge. I have a lot of friends that rushed into the plans they made. Alot of these people are regretting it. I graduated early from high school. It was what I had always planned on doing. My high school wouldn't let me walk at graduation or even go to prom because of it.
Consider the consequences of your actions. Think on how they will affect the ones around you, your friends, family, and loved ones. Ask around. Ask people what they think about your plans. They may have some experience.
Really, just don't rush. Don't rush growing up. Childhood is precious, and when you lose it, it's gone forever.
Thanks,
Tyler.
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