I've been living life backwards. I should be dying to live. Instead, I'm living to die. I walk around every day. I have the same routine. I go to the same places. I talk to the same people. I have the same conversation every day.
I've stopped seeking new things. I've stopped wanting to. I want to stay right where I am. I don't want change because change isn't safe.
This mentality has stopped me from asking this girl out and it's driving me nuts. Hopefully she doesn't read this. It'd be awkward because she'll know who she is. But my need to get this out is greater.
I have held myself back from life. I've held myself back from healing.
Not an easy revelation to have. I want to live again. I want fun. I want change. I want better for myself.
Thanks.
Tyler
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