So, to take a quick break from this, I didn't realize that this story, the story of my life, would take so long to type. I apologize for the length. And I thank you for reading. I felt that it needed to be written. That being said, back to the story.
One day at lunch, I sat down at a different table. I had been fighting with friends and needed to sit somewhere else. There was a girl I knew named Karley who was friendly to me. So I sat with her.
I hadn't eaten that week. It was Wednesday. As I sat there, a pretty blonde haired girl asked me why I didn't have a lunch. I wanted to cry. I told her I lost my card, rather than admit that I was broke. I didn't want to say that I told my parents I ate at practice so that everyone else had more food. She looked at me and gave me her fries. I had to hide my eyes for a minute. It was so tough to not cry.
I started talking to this girl a bit more. She was really nice. At the same time, I met another girl. She was hurting. And bad. I saw her eyes and it was like looking in a mirror. I never thought that anyone else might hurt like I did.So the first girl we'll name Isobella. The second will be called Jane. The first girl I started to hug every day. Her hugs were nice. She kind of bothered me sometimes by pulling my hair. She was amazed by how curly it was. I hated my hair. I never had time to wash it and brush it. I missed being bald.
I also hugged Jane every day. These hugs are the ones that I couldn't wait for.
She was struggling bad. She started opening up to me around Christmas time. Her dad was an alcoholic. Her dad also abused her mother. Her brothers were mean to her. She had confidence issues, despite being beautiful. Isobella was exactly the opposite. She always seemed happy. Always smiling and laughing. For my birthday, she made a cake for me. I thought it was sweet. A month later, we got together and unofficially dated.
Through the whole relationship, I struggled. I didn't want to tell her much about me. She was way too good for me. She was rich, pretty, popular, basically perfect. I was poor, an outsider, and scared. I didn't want to ruin it.
Jane was getting worse. She told me she cut. When she told me that, I couldn't tell her that I did too. It hurt too much. But I did cut. My wrists and arms are full of scars. Thank God I worked on a farm. Great cover story. There were nights that I stayed up all night with her. Praying that she would stay alive. She was my weakness. But she also knew when I was hurting just by my smile. She could tell almost instantly what I was feeling. I could do the same for her. We would write letters back and forth. To encourage each other in class. I finally was starting to feel a little better.
She became a center of my life too. She brought me back to my faith in God. I got a job as a camp counselor. Some nights she had to stay up all night with me. That summer was hard.
I got fired from the camp. One of my fellow counselors was stuck in Peoria and was about to call an abusive boyfriend to come get her. I took the camp truck and picked her up. I did this as a last resort. All of my bosses were either too busy or out of town. The next day I was fired.
It hurt. I got fired for a good deed. It made me bitter. I kind of started hating Christians. They were so judgmental.
I also had to switch schools. I wasn't responsible enough to keep going to my school. I had to go to ROWVA. I hate ROWVA. I really do. The only good thing I did there was make a ring for my girlfriend and graduate a semester early. I also went on the weekend. The weekend is a retreat for teens that I was tricked into saying yes. My girlfriend had lied to me about it. And laughed about it when she dropped me off. I was so mad. I considered breaking up with her over it. I can't say much about the weekend. Sorry, but I'd get in trouble.
I hated the weekend the first time I went. It was more because I was so hurt, I didn't care what went on.
The following spring, I was on the team for it. I had an amazing team weekend. I grew very close to a few people, namely Sergio, Donny, and Jason. I made life friends out of this. It was worth going to.
This past summer was a long one. I got fired from another job. I started fighting again. I was clean though. No pills. No cutting. No drinking even. All for Isobella. I loved her. And still do. She knows. I got into a fight with my father. This followed a break up. Isobella and I broke up.
He kicked me out. I started walking with two bags of clothes. And a box that had been made for me by Isobella. I don't know why, but that box was my priority. On my way down a two lane highway, I got a call from a friend. He said to come over early if I wanted. I said I was walking with my things because I just got kicked out. He said he'd meet me in the driveway.
As soon as I hung up, a man pulled up and asked if I wanted a ride. I said sure. He took me to Donny's house. I saw Donny waiting with water for me and started crying. It hurt to realize that I was loved.
I stayed the night at his house. The next day, I called another friend. I asked if I could drop my stuff off at his place so I could find somewhere to live without having to carry my stuff around town. He said sure, and that his Ma would be waiting for me.
I get there and was told to unpack downstairs. His Ma said I know the rules and where everything goes. This broke my heart.
School started a month later.
There's one more part to this story. Thanks for hanging in there guys. Thanks for reading.
Again, Thank you.
Tyler.
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