Courage

"Lend me your courage to stand up and fight."
I can truthfully say that I'm scared. A lot has happened this week. My stepmother and three siblings told me tonight that I've lost myself. And that I'm not part of the family. My father has to leave to get away from my stepmother. He'll be out of state.
As much as I used to hate him, and I mean hate him, He's become my hero. I've learned so much from him. He's made me realize what responsibility truly is. I watched this man work 18 hour days for months to get us kids clothes and food. He's gone without eating so we could. He now works his hands to the bones separating scrap metal because he can't find a job. He disregards his own health and well-being to make sure everyone else is happy.
And I'm scared. He's going to be gone out of state. I'm scared because I don't feel like I'm good enough to even try to walk in his shoes. I know I'm not. I could never do what he's done. And I feel like a failure.
Am I? I guess not. But it sure feels like it.
I don't know what I'll do. I'm paralyzed with fear. I have just over a month and I have to be out of the house I'm living. With Dad gone, I can't even think about going back to that house. My job doesn't pay enough for a house or even an apartment.
I'm scared to fight. I don't know how I'll get through this.
I need courage though. I need to keep being as brave as what my face shows. I need to be the man I was raised to be. I was raised to be strong. Raised to be courageous. Raised to sacrifice.
You know what? This hurts. I'll admit it. Tyler Fox. The Beard. Admitting pain. It hurts. But I will make it. I can.
Thanks.
Tyler.