Pills

She takes these pills and she moves along. She takes these pills and it's better. -Pills by Hurt.

So, I figured out I'm not alone in how bad certain addictions can become. I have issues with addictions. I'm easily addicted to substances. I like drinking. A little too much. I like pills. A lot too much. And I'm not the only one.
A lot of high school kids have this issue. Even more college students do. I know a girl who took xanax to help stay aware for finals. I had a girl come to class drunk, and not just a little drunk. Very drunk. I was worried.
Addictions haunt you. They come back. They remind you of the euphoria. They remind you of how much it hurts. How much it hurts the ones you love. How much you loved the thrill. How much you hated the aftermath.
Addictions change you. They leave emotional scars. They scar those you love. They break trust. They don't always scar you just emotionally. Sometimes it's physical. I know a girl who cut herself. It was her release. Once upon a time, it was mine too. It hurts, when you get reminded of things like that. Memories always seem to pop up at the worst times. Like when you're really in a great mood and you see a scar on your wrist. Or you see an old friend who drank with you or popped pills with you.

It isn't always bad. Sometimes, as much as it hurts, it reminds me that I need to be good. Being reminded of a broken relationship can sometimes remind me why it broke originally and stops me from doing it again. It isn't easy to stop. It isn't easy. Believe me. There are times when you feel like you are more broken and worthless than  the wreckage left by a bomb. You feel desolate. You feel dead. You hurt worse than anything imaginable. You hurt.

But hurting isn't just negative all of the time. Sometimes it teaches a lesson. Or, really, sometimes we're willing to learn from it. If we learned to learn from the hurts in our life, eventually nothing will truly hurt us. We can move past things and focus on the good, the happiness, the love. We were made to love.
Thanks.
Tyler.