Ever listen to a song that just fits your mood? It's been a long week. I haven't seen my two sisters in like three weeks. I lost my job. I lost a relationship that meant the world to me. A close friend had her mother die. The song "Into the ocean" by Blue October says "I want to swim away but don't know how."
Have you ever felt like that? I want to leave this situation. I want to run away and give up and start all over. I want to never look back. These feelings have a tendency to run and jump into the front of my mind. The godfather of my future children said my fight or flight instinct is messed up sometimes.
I think we all get like that. I know, sweeping generalizations, my old psych professor would kill me for it. But I think the vast majority of us do this same thing. We'd rather cut our losses than stand up and fight.
I think it should be the opposite way. Why give up? Why do we decide we'd rather jump into the ocean and take our chances swimming, when we could take a chance on saving something before we run away? Why do we try to forget the past by running away? The past makes us who we are. I know some people have a hard past, believe me, I know, but that hard past is what makes you you. It makes me the biggest teddy bear in the world according to one good friend of mine. It's why I can laugh and smile when I look outside and realize that I'm alive and that everything around me is beautiful, no matter how tragic.
My sisters are having a blast, eating the best food ever in Indiana. No job means I have time to devote to friends and family that I've been neglecting. That relationship being lost caused me to start talking to people that I never thought I would talk to, and I'm the better person for it. My friend who's mother died now has a chance to find closure and to resolve old pain and issues. And while I may want to swim away, it's a good thing I don't know how, or I would miss all of these beautiful things.
Thanks for reading guys,
Tyler
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Seize the Day
Lately I've been stressed. Very very stressed. A lot has been going on, and it has severely affected me as a person.I've been letting the stress bog me down and make it impossible for me to live and function as a normal teenage guy. I mean sure, I will dominate you at Reach, and I get good grades and I have a good job, but I'm on autopilot most of the time.
I don't live for today. I stress about the future. I let the past hold me down. I let this negativity bring me down. It got to the point where I work all the time just to get away. I just stay Busy to stay distracted because distracted me is best me.
The thing is, I'm not the only one like this. I'm one of millions of people that do this. It's unhealthy. It's another thing that helps someone fall into depression. It makes it harder to pick ourselves up. It makes things worse.
I believe that everything is going to work out. That everything has a reason and that there is a lesson in everything that happens in life. Call me an idealist. Call me what you will, but I'm fairly certain in this. The trick is to look into things with a new perspective. Rather than looking how things have hurt you, look at how they made you stronger, and if they haven't, see how they can.
I know this all looks like a great plan on paper, but it's tough. It isn't a split-second change, it takes work. It takes perseverance. It takes help. Have someone help you live for today. Ask someone their perspective on something. Stay open, and stay strong. Thanks,
Tyler.
I don't live for today. I stress about the future. I let the past hold me down. I let this negativity bring me down. It got to the point where I work all the time just to get away. I just stay Busy to stay distracted because distracted me is best me.
The thing is, I'm not the only one like this. I'm one of millions of people that do this. It's unhealthy. It's another thing that helps someone fall into depression. It makes it harder to pick ourselves up. It makes things worse.
I believe that everything is going to work out. That everything has a reason and that there is a lesson in everything that happens in life. Call me an idealist. Call me what you will, but I'm fairly certain in this. The trick is to look into things with a new perspective. Rather than looking how things have hurt you, look at how they made you stronger, and if they haven't, see how they can.
I know this all looks like a great plan on paper, but it's tough. It isn't a split-second change, it takes work. It takes perseverance. It takes help. Have someone help you live for today. Ask someone their perspective on something. Stay open, and stay strong. Thanks,
Tyler.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Trying
When I was younger, I never tried to do anything. I just did it. This carried with me. I still don't understand when someone says "I'll try." It makes no sense to me. Either you do it, or you don't. Can or can't.
A little while ago, I had a friend who struggled with depression. She drove me nuts. She would always just "try" to not injure herself. She'd "try" to go to sleep. It was always "try".
I hated it. I began to resent it. It really hurt our relationship. We talked all the time, and now we really don't.
I always prided myself on my open mind, on my willingness to accept everyone for the way they are. I wasn't being open to her though, or really anyone else that wouldn't say definitely whether or not they would do something. Instead, I would rather just ignore them and reject the fact that they can't say for sure.
I'm really working on this. We can't call ourselves open-minded if we reject someone else's actions. It's being hypocritical. What I'm saying is when you disapprove of something, put yourself in that person's shoes. Those shoes may just fit you a little tight, and may hurt to wear. Some people have lives that are quite a bit harder than you would imagine. That girl with the smile on her face all the time may have an abusive father that makes her feel awful about herself. That guy that can make anyone laugh may be severely depressed.
Don't judge people. Be understanding of other people. Don't isolate yourself from other's just because they're different.
Thanks,
Tyler.
A little while ago, I had a friend who struggled with depression. She drove me nuts. She would always just "try" to not injure herself. She'd "try" to go to sleep. It was always "try".
I hated it. I began to resent it. It really hurt our relationship. We talked all the time, and now we really don't.
I always prided myself on my open mind, on my willingness to accept everyone for the way they are. I wasn't being open to her though, or really anyone else that wouldn't say definitely whether or not they would do something. Instead, I would rather just ignore them and reject the fact that they can't say for sure.
I'm really working on this. We can't call ourselves open-minded if we reject someone else's actions. It's being hypocritical. What I'm saying is when you disapprove of something, put yourself in that person's shoes. Those shoes may just fit you a little tight, and may hurt to wear. Some people have lives that are quite a bit harder than you would imagine. That girl with the smile on her face all the time may have an abusive father that makes her feel awful about herself. That guy that can make anyone laugh may be severely depressed.
Don't judge people. Be understanding of other people. Don't isolate yourself from other's just because they're different.
Thanks,
Tyler.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Walls
"These walls won't betray me.
These walls are like my safety."
-Dead Celebrity Status "If These Walls Could Talk"
I build walls. Big ones. I build walls that are armor. I build walls to keep everyone else out. I build walls to protect myself. I build walls to protect everyone else from me. Mostly, I build walls to hide.
I hide my emotions. I hide my pain. I hide anything that makes me vulnerable. I guess you could call me paranoid. You could also say I'm a coward.
I'd rather people see me "happy", I guess. I want them to see the big goofy smile. I want them to see the energy. I want them to hear my laugh, and laugh with me. I want them to see the "best" part of me. The part of me that doesn't hurt. The part that can smile through anything.
"These walls are my safety." These walls are my armor, my shell. They're my excuse.
Truth is, I'm not a people person. I get nervous. I prefer being alone, sitting quietly. I'd be happy to live on my own in the middle of nowhere. I'm a person that feels pain. I'm a person that gets angry. A lot more than I should. I sit up at night and regret how I treat people.
Lately, I've been stepping out of these walls I love so much. I've been letting the imperfect Tyler show through. I haven't been as scared to show who I really am. I haven't been holding it all in.
I always believed these walls kept me sane. I believed they let me be the person I should be. I regret that. I missed so much of my senior year, just because I was hiding in myself and hiding in the misery of going to a different school than the one I planned on. I didn't give anything a chance just because I was so stubborn.
The next line of the song is, "But sometimes I feel like these walls drive me crazy." I agree with everything but the first two words. These walls drive me crazy. They keep me in a preset schedule, where every day, I do the same things, keeping the same routines.
I'll leave you with a question and a thank you.
Do you have walls?
Thanks,
Tyler.
These walls are like my safety."
-Dead Celebrity Status "If These Walls Could Talk"
I build walls. Big ones. I build walls that are armor. I build walls to keep everyone else out. I build walls to protect myself. I build walls to protect everyone else from me. Mostly, I build walls to hide.
I hide my emotions. I hide my pain. I hide anything that makes me vulnerable. I guess you could call me paranoid. You could also say I'm a coward.
I'd rather people see me "happy", I guess. I want them to see the big goofy smile. I want them to see the energy. I want them to hear my laugh, and laugh with me. I want them to see the "best" part of me. The part of me that doesn't hurt. The part that can smile through anything.
"These walls are my safety." These walls are my armor, my shell. They're my excuse.
Truth is, I'm not a people person. I get nervous. I prefer being alone, sitting quietly. I'd be happy to live on my own in the middle of nowhere. I'm a person that feels pain. I'm a person that gets angry. A lot more than I should. I sit up at night and regret how I treat people.
Lately, I've been stepping out of these walls I love so much. I've been letting the imperfect Tyler show through. I haven't been as scared to show who I really am. I haven't been holding it all in.
I always believed these walls kept me sane. I believed they let me be the person I should be. I regret that. I missed so much of my senior year, just because I was hiding in myself and hiding in the misery of going to a different school than the one I planned on. I didn't give anything a chance just because I was so stubborn.
The next line of the song is, "But sometimes I feel like these walls drive me crazy." I agree with everything but the first two words. These walls drive me crazy. They keep me in a preset schedule, where every day, I do the same things, keeping the same routines.
I'll leave you with a question and a thank you.
Do you have walls?
Thanks,
Tyler.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The next step
So, just recently, most seniors in the country graduated. Some are going to college. Some are joining the workforce. Some chose military. Some are just going to sit at home doing nothing.
The step from high school is huge. I have a lot of friends that rushed into the plans they made. Alot of these people are regretting it. I graduated early from high school. It was what I had always planned on doing. My high school wouldn't let me walk at graduation or even go to prom because of it.
Consider the consequences of your actions. Think on how they will affect the ones around you, your friends, family, and loved ones. Ask around. Ask people what they think about your plans. They may have some experience.
Really, just don't rush. Don't rush growing up. Childhood is precious, and when you lose it, it's gone forever.
Thanks,
Tyler.
The step from high school is huge. I have a lot of friends that rushed into the plans they made. Alot of these people are regretting it. I graduated early from high school. It was what I had always planned on doing. My high school wouldn't let me walk at graduation or even go to prom because of it.
Consider the consequences of your actions. Think on how they will affect the ones around you, your friends, family, and loved ones. Ask around. Ask people what they think about your plans. They may have some experience.
Really, just don't rush. Don't rush growing up. Childhood is precious, and when you lose it, it's gone forever.
Thanks,
Tyler.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The way she feels....
"Then she closed her eyes, Found relief in a knife." - "The way she feels" by Between the Trees
This song is amazing. I found it on accident, and it's been in my head since. It starts out with a girl who's had a long day. She goes to a drawer to get a knife. She can't find hers. She uses another as an escape from her emotional pain. It talks about her feeling alone and like there's nothing and noone there for her.
This feeling of being alone is pretty common. It's a feeling that just about everyone gets at least once, whether after a breakup, a fight, or whatever. It's a feeling of emotional desolation.
The girl in the song has this pain. She hurts. Hurts so bad that she feels that cutting herself will help bleed the pain away. Pain doesn't help you escape from pain. It just adds more. It's a temporary distraction. It's an addiction..
While it does feel like when you start, you can't stop, you can. The song ends in an amazing way. A guy comes into her life. He shows her there is love in the world. He shows her there is redemption.
This song isn't a fairy tale. It's real and possible. It's not easy to stop. I have a close friend who struggled with cutting. She fights the urge every day. She's gone two months without so far, and she's still counting. While it isn't impossible, it is hard. You can't beat feelings like that on your own. You need someone to hold on to. Someone to help you.
Find someone to hold on to. Somebody you can text in the middle of the night. Do it even if you aren't struggling with any problems. You never know what will happen tomorrow. It never hurts to be surrounded by people who love you. Thanks.
Tyler
This song is amazing. I found it on accident, and it's been in my head since. It starts out with a girl who's had a long day. She goes to a drawer to get a knife. She can't find hers. She uses another as an escape from her emotional pain. It talks about her feeling alone and like there's nothing and noone there for her.
This feeling of being alone is pretty common. It's a feeling that just about everyone gets at least once, whether after a breakup, a fight, or whatever. It's a feeling of emotional desolation.
The girl in the song has this pain. She hurts. Hurts so bad that she feels that cutting herself will help bleed the pain away. Pain doesn't help you escape from pain. It just adds more. It's a temporary distraction. It's an addiction..
While it does feel like when you start, you can't stop, you can. The song ends in an amazing way. A guy comes into her life. He shows her there is love in the world. He shows her there is redemption.
This song isn't a fairy tale. It's real and possible. It's not easy to stop. I have a close friend who struggled with cutting. She fights the urge every day. She's gone two months without so far, and she's still counting. While it isn't impossible, it is hard. You can't beat feelings like that on your own. You need someone to hold on to. Someone to help you.
Find someone to hold on to. Somebody you can text in the middle of the night. Do it even if you aren't struggling with any problems. You never know what will happen tomorrow. It never hurts to be surrounded by people who love you. Thanks.
Tyler
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Family
I saw a post on facebook the other night. It said family doesn't have to be blood. It's the people that are always there for you. The ones that will drop everything to come help you.
This is true. I look on my facebook, and see the list of nearly 20 people I consider family. These people all help me. They are amazing. Without them, I just couldn't deal. They do too much for me.
Alot of people say they are alone. That nobody cares for them. I beg to differ. If they were to go around, ask some people that they know really well, at least one will say they're family. At least one. These are the people you need to hold on to.
My Ma said to me that family is all you'll have at the end of the day. Family sticks with you. As a disclaimer, not all blood relations are always family. Some will abandon you. I have a large number of my family that I don't consider family. But the people who treat you special, the ones who will wake up at three in the morning to text you, those are the ones you need to stick to.
Thanks, and sorry for the big break,
Tyler
This is true. I look on my facebook, and see the list of nearly 20 people I consider family. These people all help me. They are amazing. Without them, I just couldn't deal. They do too much for me.
Alot of people say they are alone. That nobody cares for them. I beg to differ. If they were to go around, ask some people that they know really well, at least one will say they're family. At least one. These are the people you need to hold on to.
My Ma said to me that family is all you'll have at the end of the day. Family sticks with you. As a disclaimer, not all blood relations are always family. Some will abandon you. I have a large number of my family that I don't consider family. But the people who treat you special, the ones who will wake up at three in the morning to text you, those are the ones you need to stick to.
Thanks, and sorry for the big break,
Tyler
Monday, May 9, 2011
Happy
Today I'm happy. I finished my math final. It was painful, but I did. I also sold back some textbooks and made $160. So big smile on my face. I also don't have to work all weekend because I have no more school. It's such a good day.
These things make me happy, but it's not a permanent happy. I smiled for a little, but now it's just another day again. The money is great, until it gets spent. Then it's disappointing, but what use is it to just save money and never spend it? It's a catch-22. It's a temporary thing. I have more fun and I'm happier when I'm with my girlfriend or hanging out with other friends.
Those things make me smile still. I have so many good memories with friends and none with spending money. None. Money doesn't bring me happiness. It brings stress. It brings decisions that stop me from enjoying life.
Money is cool, but not what I need. I need quality time with friends. I need things that matter. things that will still be here no matter what our government does. I need love.
Thanks,
Tyler.
These things make me happy, but it's not a permanent happy. I smiled for a little, but now it's just another day again. The money is great, until it gets spent. Then it's disappointing, but what use is it to just save money and never spend it? It's a catch-22. It's a temporary thing. I have more fun and I'm happier when I'm with my girlfriend or hanging out with other friends.
Those things make me smile still. I have so many good memories with friends and none with spending money. None. Money doesn't bring me happiness. It brings stress. It brings decisions that stop me from enjoying life.
Money is cool, but not what I need. I need quality time with friends. I need things that matter. things that will still be here no matter what our government does. I need love.
Thanks,
Tyler.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Et Al
The title of this one is an homage to a favorite band of mine. They have a song called "Et al" that is about pleasing others. It says,
"Dance puppet boy. If you do a good job
Then they'll want you again, give it all that you got
Show them the joy and the pain and the ending
And then do it again and we'll all start pretendings
To pay more attention to what's aforementioned
And you bob your head 'cause you're not even listening.
A very small few of you even get meanings
But laugh, clown boy, laugh 'cause it's always so pleasing."
"Dance puppet boy. If you do a good job
Then they'll want you again, give it all that you got
Show them the joy and the pain and the ending
And then do it again and we'll all start pretendings
To pay more attention to what's aforementioned
And you bob your head 'cause you're not even listening.
A very small few of you even get meanings
But laugh, clown boy, laugh 'cause it's always so pleasing."
This song is really hard-hitting to me. It has a tough message. It speaks from the perspective of society. Society tells us, "Hey, if you do what we say, you'll be accepted." The worst part is that we actually care. We believe that our well-being requires the acceptance of those around us. We "need" others to affirm us because we are taught that affirming ourselves is wrong.
We are taught that our personal opinions should not have anything to do with how we feel about ourselves, and in fact should change our ideas to conform to what people think about us. That in itself is something that should make little red flags pop up in our heads. It doesn't matter what other people think of you. It's your life, not their's. Society doesn't walk in your shoes. Society doesn't live your life. Society doesn't know you and all your secrets.
Just remember that.
Tyler
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
You know that it's always around.
This title has been stuck in my head lately. Kind of weird, and I didn't quite know what to do with it. So, it's my new post for today. It's finals week next week. Sadly, this means tons of studying and stress. I was lucky and both of my English courses had their finals this week. It saves me a load of worrying and study stress.
Stress leads to a lot of bad things. Probably the biggest thing for me is that I can't sleep. When I can't sleep, I can't focus. When I can't focus, I can't study. I can't study, I do badly on the test. See where I'm going. I'm pretty sure I'm not unique on this subject either. This is a widespread issue. It leads to all sorts of bad things.
I'm not saying to forget about what makes you stress. I'm not saying to not study for finals and give up, just so you can sleep. I am saying that if you do take a nap, you'll study a good bit more effectively. If you do get some sleep, you'll feel a little better. You'll be more focused. There's always time for a bit of relaxation. Keep that in mind. I don't exactly know how the title fits, but alright. Thanks,
Tyler
Stress leads to a lot of bad things. Probably the biggest thing for me is that I can't sleep. When I can't sleep, I can't focus. When I can't focus, I can't study. I can't study, I do badly on the test. See where I'm going. I'm pretty sure I'm not unique on this subject either. This is a widespread issue. It leads to all sorts of bad things.
I'm not saying to forget about what makes you stress. I'm not saying to not study for finals and give up, just so you can sleep. I am saying that if you do take a nap, you'll study a good bit more effectively. If you do get some sleep, you'll feel a little better. You'll be more focused. There's always time for a bit of relaxation. Keep that in mind. I don't exactly know how the title fits, but alright. Thanks,
Tyler
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Mistakes
I had a math test today over sequences and matrices. Normally easy stuff. I made a mistake though. I flipped a matrix upside down after I transposed it, and ruined a huge problem.
This isn't that big of a deal. I have a really high grade in there. So one problem messed up won't hurt my grade much. So while it seems huge, it's not that big of a deal. I make a lot of other mistakes though. I get into fights with my father and brother. These are substantially worse mistakes than messing up a silly math problem.
We tend to blow mistakes way out of proportion. I almost had a heart attack when I turned in my exam and noticed the last problem. When I get in a fight with family, it's the end of the world.
These mistakes that I make aren't as big as they could be. Instead of giving in to the feelings off hopelessness and of depression, keep going. Keep fighting. A mistake isn't the end of the world. Not even close. Last summer, I was a camp counselor. I got fired the weekend before the last week that camp was open.
It was a friday night. A couple of the girl counselor and I took a trip to walmart. One of the girls got caught stealing, and the cops took her. We left her to go to camp and pick up bail money. I was going to drive back in her car to pick her up with the money. I get a text on the way home saying they let her go. So I said that I'd be right there in her car to pick her up. She had her keys though. She was about to call an ex boyfriend who was abusive. I called my bosses, nobody answered, or if they did, they were busy and wouldn't go help her. So I took the camp truck. Obviously, this was illegal. I shouldn't have taken it. I got her back to camp and parked the truck. The next day I was fired. Not because my boss was mad, but because it was policy for me to be fired. This ruined my summer. I got grounded and had to switch schools from the one I loved to the one that I was zoned to be in. This meant that my senior year plans got ruined. I struggled with this for months. I graduated early, with honors. I'm at college now. My stupid actions ruined my senior year, but I'm still here. I'm even doing well.
No matter how big you mess up, you can be redeemed. It's as easy as saying, "Hey, I screwed up." and changing how you act. There is never going to be a mistake that you can't make better. You'll have to live with consequences, but instead of making yourself miserable, try making sure that people around you don't make the same mistakes that you did. Thanks again for reading,
Tyler
This isn't that big of a deal. I have a really high grade in there. So one problem messed up won't hurt my grade much. So while it seems huge, it's not that big of a deal. I make a lot of other mistakes though. I get into fights with my father and brother. These are substantially worse mistakes than messing up a silly math problem.
We tend to blow mistakes way out of proportion. I almost had a heart attack when I turned in my exam and noticed the last problem. When I get in a fight with family, it's the end of the world.
These mistakes that I make aren't as big as they could be. Instead of giving in to the feelings off hopelessness and of depression, keep going. Keep fighting. A mistake isn't the end of the world. Not even close. Last summer, I was a camp counselor. I got fired the weekend before the last week that camp was open.
It was a friday night. A couple of the girl counselor and I took a trip to walmart. One of the girls got caught stealing, and the cops took her. We left her to go to camp and pick up bail money. I was going to drive back in her car to pick her up with the money. I get a text on the way home saying they let her go. So I said that I'd be right there in her car to pick her up. She had her keys though. She was about to call an ex boyfriend who was abusive. I called my bosses, nobody answered, or if they did, they were busy and wouldn't go help her. So I took the camp truck. Obviously, this was illegal. I shouldn't have taken it. I got her back to camp and parked the truck. The next day I was fired. Not because my boss was mad, but because it was policy for me to be fired. This ruined my summer. I got grounded and had to switch schools from the one I loved to the one that I was zoned to be in. This meant that my senior year plans got ruined. I struggled with this for months. I graduated early, with honors. I'm at college now. My stupid actions ruined my senior year, but I'm still here. I'm even doing well.
No matter how big you mess up, you can be redeemed. It's as easy as saying, "Hey, I screwed up." and changing how you act. There is never going to be a mistake that you can't make better. You'll have to live with consequences, but instead of making yourself miserable, try making sure that people around you don't make the same mistakes that you did. Thanks again for reading,
Tyler
Monday, May 2, 2011
Something Beautiful
I've realized that lately, I've been ungrateful. I haven't appreciated the life I have been given. It isn't perfect. It sucks sometimes.
Know what though? I wake up every morning to a text from this amazing girl. I wake up alive and breathing. I have a family. I have friends. I'm surrounded by love. I have a life, and I've been wasting it.
I don't think people realize what they have. We focus on the negativity. On the things that hurt. We almost desire to be a victim in our own lives. We ignore the love around us and focus on the pain.
I'm sorry, but love is all that matters. Love is what gets you places. We're called to love each other. We were made out of love. We are nothing without love. We become shells that walk around. We turn into zombies.
So, when you wake up, just think. You're still breathing. You're alive. And there's something beautiful surrounding you. There's love. Thanks,
Tyler
Know what though? I wake up every morning to a text from this amazing girl. I wake up alive and breathing. I have a family. I have friends. I'm surrounded by love. I have a life, and I've been wasting it.
I don't think people realize what they have. We focus on the negativity. On the things that hurt. We almost desire to be a victim in our own lives. We ignore the love around us and focus on the pain.
I'm sorry, but love is all that matters. Love is what gets you places. We're called to love each other. We were made out of love. We are nothing without love. We become shells that walk around. We turn into zombies.
So, when you wake up, just think. You're still breathing. You're alive. And there's something beautiful surrounding you. There's love. Thanks,
Tyler
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Communication
If you didn't know, I love music. The band Rise Against has a song called "Swing Life Away" that starts out with a line that I think is applicable to the topic of communication. It says, "Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?" That is a thought that I know regularly pops into my head.
Relationships are built on communication, and frankly, kids aren't being taught to communicate. Sure, they take public speaking in high school and they learn to write letters and all that, but they aren't taught to truly share their hearts. Boys are told it's girly to share and talk about their feelings, and girls seem to think that if they share how they feel, they'll get hurt. They also aren't taught to listen. Listening is just as important. If you can't listen, then you are just as bad off.
This mentality and fear that is taught to us is killing our relationships. Couples struggle to talk to each other. Marriages are breaking down. People lose their faith. These things are all over. Everyone knows someone who's broken up with a girl/boyfriend, who's been divorced, who's lost their faith. It's hard on them. And it all starts with a lack of communication.
The biggest thing is a lack of listening in my life. I hate listening sometimes. When I pray, I'm too impatient to wait for an answer. With my girlfriend, I get tired of hearing her complain (if you read this, sorry). And that's wrong. People need to be listened to. When nobody listens to you, you feel ignored and alone. You feel like nobody cares.
Everyone should feel listened to. Nobody is truly alone. I challenge everyone to find someone to listen to and connect with. It's tough, but worth it. In the words of Doug, "Dance with the girl nobody's dancing with." Don't leave someone alone because they look like they don't fit in. Include everyone. Love everyone. Thanks
Tyler
Relationships are built on communication, and frankly, kids aren't being taught to communicate. Sure, they take public speaking in high school and they learn to write letters and all that, but they aren't taught to truly share their hearts. Boys are told it's girly to share and talk about their feelings, and girls seem to think that if they share how they feel, they'll get hurt. They also aren't taught to listen. Listening is just as important. If you can't listen, then you are just as bad off.
This mentality and fear that is taught to us is killing our relationships. Couples struggle to talk to each other. Marriages are breaking down. People lose their faith. These things are all over. Everyone knows someone who's broken up with a girl/boyfriend, who's been divorced, who's lost their faith. It's hard on them. And it all starts with a lack of communication.
The biggest thing is a lack of listening in my life. I hate listening sometimes. When I pray, I'm too impatient to wait for an answer. With my girlfriend, I get tired of hearing her complain (if you read this, sorry). And that's wrong. People need to be listened to. When nobody listens to you, you feel ignored and alone. You feel like nobody cares.
Everyone should feel listened to. Nobody is truly alone. I challenge everyone to find someone to listen to and connect with. It's tough, but worth it. In the words of Doug, "Dance with the girl nobody's dancing with." Don't leave someone alone because they look like they don't fit in. Include everyone. Love everyone. Thanks
Tyler
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Let's face it (pun intended), facebook is addictive. I spend probably three or four hours on it a day. It's kinda unhealthy.
We really probably should give a little less time to it, and more time for us to unwind and do healthy things, such as Kinect on 360, or Wii Fit. Something active. Obesity is a huge problem. I'm overweight, but not obese. I'm just a big guy. I can run a mile nonstop. Instead of sitting on a computer, we should sit outside and do something. Americans are slightly unhealthy, and here in Knox county, we have the highest obesity rate in Illinois.
This is a shame and needs to change. So today, be active, exercise some, and put down the computer, except when reading this.
Tyler
We really probably should give a little less time to it, and more time for us to unwind and do healthy things, such as Kinect on 360, or Wii Fit. Something active. Obesity is a huge problem. I'm overweight, but not obese. I'm just a big guy. I can run a mile nonstop. Instead of sitting on a computer, we should sit outside and do something. Americans are slightly unhealthy, and here in Knox county, we have the highest obesity rate in Illinois.
This is a shame and needs to change. So today, be active, exercise some, and put down the computer, except when reading this.
Tyler
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
So war es und...
A favorite band of mine, Rammstein, has a song called "Rosenrot". Part of the chorus is a line saying, "So war es und, so wird es immer sein." This treanslates into English to say, "So it was, and so it will ever be." This line has been rattling around in my head for the past six months. It seems like a surrender.
I'm a very....spirited.... person. I don't like to give in. It's one of my faults. But this line says that there is no use in trying. That there is no hope to change things. A lot of people are in bad situations. Homeless, unemployed, in prison, trapped in an addiction. There is always hope. Always. If you don't give in to your bad situation, and fight it, you can make it.
I'm not saying that you can do it alone. Support is never wasted. You can get help from your friends, your family, your God figure. Any way to get help is good. But remember, just because you feel stuck and always have, it doesn't mean that you can't get out of the place you're in. There's always a way out.
Tyler
I'm a very....spirited.... person. I don't like to give in. It's one of my faults. But this line says that there is no use in trying. That there is no hope to change things. A lot of people are in bad situations. Homeless, unemployed, in prison, trapped in an addiction. There is always hope. Always. If you don't give in to your bad situation, and fight it, you can make it.
I'm not saying that you can do it alone. Support is never wasted. You can get help from your friends, your family, your God figure. Any way to get help is good. But remember, just because you feel stuck and always have, it doesn't mean that you can't get out of the place you're in. There's always a way out.
Tyler
Monday, April 25, 2011
Success
"Success is psychological." -Immortal Technique "Caught in a Hustle"
This quote made me think pretty deep today. Success is more in our heads than anything else. We set our own ideals for what it means to be successful. We have this whole system of rankings for how well we're doing in this world. We're also the only judge, it seems, and as a judge, we're meaner than Simon. We hold ourselves to such a huge standard that we hurt ourselves. We depress ourselves. I know a girl who is fighting very severe depression right now. She thinks she's fat. She thinks she's ugly. She thinks she's stupid. She thinks she's not worth the time of day for anyone.
Really, she's one of the prettiest girls I know. She's not fat, she's actually in amazing shape. She amazed me last time we worked out together. She's super smart, too. She's the reason I passed math my junior year. She has this set of beliefs about herself and about what she "should be" that keep her from showing her potential. She like all of us, holds herself back.
Remember the above quote? "Success is psychological." This is a big statement. We have the ability to change this. All we have to do is change our ideas of success. Set smaller goals for ourselves. If we fail, then set a smaller goal and keep going.
Today, I drew a heart on my wrist to spread awareness of teen suicide and depression. If you're reading this and you need help, there are a number of places that are more than willing. There's a hotline, 1-800-SUICIDE. I know that it's tough to talk to people sometimes, but the people that will answer the phone, and they will always answer, are there to help you. Also, you can try www.befrienders.org. This site has links to help sites, and all sorts of ways to get yourself help. If you aren't struggling with this, but know someone who may be, show them that you care. Say hello, ask them how they're doing, build a relationship, because sometimes, a relationship can be the thing to hold someone here and keep them alive. Be a friend.
Thanks,
Tyler
This quote made me think pretty deep today. Success is more in our heads than anything else. We set our own ideals for what it means to be successful. We have this whole system of rankings for how well we're doing in this world. We're also the only judge, it seems, and as a judge, we're meaner than Simon. We hold ourselves to such a huge standard that we hurt ourselves. We depress ourselves. I know a girl who is fighting very severe depression right now. She thinks she's fat. She thinks she's ugly. She thinks she's stupid. She thinks she's not worth the time of day for anyone.
Really, she's one of the prettiest girls I know. She's not fat, she's actually in amazing shape. She amazed me last time we worked out together. She's super smart, too. She's the reason I passed math my junior year. She has this set of beliefs about herself and about what she "should be" that keep her from showing her potential. She like all of us, holds herself back.
Remember the above quote? "Success is psychological." This is a big statement. We have the ability to change this. All we have to do is change our ideas of success. Set smaller goals for ourselves. If we fail, then set a smaller goal and keep going.
Today, I drew a heart on my wrist to spread awareness of teen suicide and depression. If you're reading this and you need help, there are a number of places that are more than willing. There's a hotline, 1-800-SUICIDE. I know that it's tough to talk to people sometimes, but the people that will answer the phone, and they will always answer, are there to help you. Also, you can try www.befrienders.org. This site has links to help sites, and all sorts of ways to get yourself help. If you aren't struggling with this, but know someone who may be, show them that you care. Say hello, ask them how they're doing, build a relationship, because sometimes, a relationship can be the thing to hold someone here and keep them alive. Be a friend.
Thanks,
Tyler
Friday, April 22, 2011
Little Things
So if you've ever seen Zombieland, you'd know that you need to appreciate the little things. Little things are huge. Today is earth day/good friday. I worked today and had so much fun. Little kids got to learn how to plant flowers in milk cartons and I got to teach them how to do it.
My youngest sister, age nine, came to my work. She seemed upset, but I couldn't get her to tell me about it.I kind of figured it out. She misses me. She rarely, if ever sees me at home. I'm always at school, work, or doing my own thing.
I made a decision today. I got paid today, so I decided to take her out for a nice supper. Sadly, tonight I can't because my father needs the truck. But tomorrow night, I'm going to take her somewhere very nice to eat. A Tyler sis date. It's one of the little things my girlfriend told me she loved when she was younger.
All I'm really saying is a continuation of yesterday. Take the time to build a relationship with the people around you.
A freshman died this morning in a town near mine. It has really hit the community hard. It can happen to anyone. Remember to hold tight to those around you and those you love.
Tyler
My youngest sister, age nine, came to my work. She seemed upset, but I couldn't get her to tell me about it.I kind of figured it out. She misses me. She rarely, if ever sees me at home. I'm always at school, work, or doing my own thing.
I made a decision today. I got paid today, so I decided to take her out for a nice supper. Sadly, tonight I can't because my father needs the truck. But tomorrow night, I'm going to take her somewhere very nice to eat. A Tyler sis date. It's one of the little things my girlfriend told me she loved when she was younger.
All I'm really saying is a continuation of yesterday. Take the time to build a relationship with the people around you.
A freshman died this morning in a town near mine. It has really hit the community hard. It can happen to anyone. Remember to hold tight to those around you and those you love.
Tyler
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Working
Working plays a big part in my life. I love my job. It's fun, pays decently, and I have a good group of coworkers (and my boss looks like Steve Carrell), but it isn't the only thing that I need to work on. I also work at school. I work at being a good son and a good big brother. I work at being a good boyfriend. I want to be that awesome friend everyone loves.
I kinda fail at all of these at different points of time. I'm lazy at work. I procrastinate. I ignore teachers and can't take constructive criticism. I'm egotistical. I'm ungrateful. I'm mean to my siblings, all four of which are younger. I set a bad example for them sometimes. Actually, pretty often. They still look up to me though, even after all of the ways I disappoint them. I'm even a bad boyfriend. I ignore her, I'm rude, I'm jealous, I put myself first, I make fun of her family for being rich. I rarely apologize. She forgives me every time and sticks with me. I don't know why. I'm a bad friend. I stop talking to friends, I never hang out with them, I lose touch and don't always care.
I try to do my best all the time. It doesn't always work. I rarely do my best. I get too wrapped up in myself. There's a lesson in everything. I mean it. In every situation there's something to learn. Take some time to actually spend time with friends. Be a good sibling. Let your parents know you appreciate them. Let the boyfriend or girlfriend in your life know that you care. Humble yourself and help people. Smile more. Thanks for reading.
Tyler
I kinda fail at all of these at different points of time. I'm lazy at work. I procrastinate. I ignore teachers and can't take constructive criticism. I'm egotistical. I'm ungrateful. I'm mean to my siblings, all four of which are younger. I set a bad example for them sometimes. Actually, pretty often. They still look up to me though, even after all of the ways I disappoint them. I'm even a bad boyfriend. I ignore her, I'm rude, I'm jealous, I put myself first, I make fun of her family for being rich. I rarely apologize. She forgives me every time and sticks with me. I don't know why. I'm a bad friend. I stop talking to friends, I never hang out with them, I lose touch and don't always care.
I try to do my best all the time. It doesn't always work. I rarely do my best. I get too wrapped up in myself. There's a lesson in everything. I mean it. In every situation there's something to learn. Take some time to actually spend time with friends. Be a good sibling. Let your parents know you appreciate them. Let the boyfriend or girlfriend in your life know that you care. Humble yourself and help people. Smile more. Thanks for reading.
Tyler
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Singing
So today, I'm in a singing mood. I get in those. Singing helps me relax, even if I don't hear a difference between my head voice and my chest voice. But that's for another day. Today I've been singing random Lifehouse songs. Lifehouse is one of my favorite bands, and for good reason.
They have a sound to their music that is relaxing. Beyond the sound, their lyrics are amazing. They present a message of hope and peace. They have a way of just putting me in a contemplative mood. They help me refocus.
Sometimes, it's necessary to just refocus your life. We tend to wrap ourselves up in everything. Our stress, our friends' stress, and every problem we can think of. It's a terrible thing. We need to take some time sometimes (yes, I just did that) to just recenter our lives where they need to be centered, be that in our families, in our faith, in ourselves, but we need to recenter.
Just consider it,
Tyler
They have a sound to their music that is relaxing. Beyond the sound, their lyrics are amazing. They present a message of hope and peace. They have a way of just putting me in a contemplative mood. They help me refocus.
Sometimes, it's necessary to just refocus your life. We tend to wrap ourselves up in everything. Our stress, our friends' stress, and every problem we can think of. It's a terrible thing. We need to take some time sometimes (yes, I just did that) to just recenter our lives where they need to be centered, be that in our families, in our faith, in ourselves, but we need to recenter.
Just consider it,
Tyler
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
School
So, I got to thinking yesterday. I don't remember much from fifth grade. Not in general, but the things we were taught. I think I know why, and forgive my opinion. I believe that school is more meant to teach us how to grow up. I don't think it's so much the random facts, which don't hurt to know, but the lessons of time management and responsibility they start to teach us at a young age.
Also, they teach us to think for ourselves. This is a pretty useful thing to know, just saying. They teach us to accept the limits placed upon us by this world. They teach us to accept the ruling powers in our lives. They teach us to be a part of society.
Next time you have an urge to drop out or just skip, think about it. Think about what you're missing out on learning.
Tyler
Also, they teach us to think for ourselves. This is a pretty useful thing to know, just saying. They teach us to accept the limits placed upon us by this world. They teach us to accept the ruling powers in our lives. They teach us to be a part of society.
Next time you have an urge to drop out or just skip, think about it. Think about what you're missing out on learning.
Tyler
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