Summer Days

I've been floating through the past few days. In the words of my girlfriend, they've been the epitome of perfect summer days. We've hit pools, introduced our sisters, played with a slip and slide, eaten Chinese food, had an epic battle of water balloons, and watched stars every night.
I've loved almost every minute of it.
I've also realized that this is good for me. The whole loving my days thing.
When you appreciate the good, it's just good. I've beaten this horse a lot, but it's a worthy subject, and it's on my mind.
Good things happen, even in the worst of times, even when your days are cloudy, and your outlook is dark, good things happen. They can be small and insignificant. It can be a smile from a stranger, or a phone call asking if you're alright, but they happen. Look for them. Make a list of them if you have to. but remember them.
And on the other side of that, do good things for other people. Smile at them, wave, ask if they're okay, anything, but make an effort to do good for others. Things come back to you, whether you believe in karma, blessings or any other thing like that, they all come back to you in some way. Good creates more good.
Don't forget that.
Remember the summer days.
Remember the good that happens.
And smile.
Thanks.
Tyler

The Best Day

Every day can't be the best day. Things pop up. You can end up getting in a fight with your family. You can have a bad time with a significant other. Your bird can die.
A lot of things happen that can "ruin" your day. Or if not that, even just put a damper on it. And it sucks. A lot. It's not fair. Even when you're on an upswing in moods and things are finally looking up for you, something can happen that makes you not feel the happiness that you should.

Today was spent just like the past few. Sitting in the ac with my girlfriend, watching movies and making sure everything goes well. She even got a car, which is basically amazing. It's been a while since I've seen her smile so much. But in the midst of all of this sunshine, I find myself feeling kind of cloudy. There's conflict at home, conflict in my wallet, and a bit of background buzzing that's making it hard to smile tonight.

It happens I guess. If it happens to you, walk outside. Listen to the wind, try to find a cloud, but just look at how beautiful things are. Kiss your girlfriend or boyfriend, smile at a stranger, and send some uplifting text messages. Don't let clouds take over your life.
Thanks.
Tyler.

A gentle shove or a monumental push?

Have you ever felt pushed? Maybe by your parents, your friends, your girlfriend? Or maybe by some unseen, unknowable force?
So, I've had a song stuck in my head. Part of the chorus is "Sometimes it comes with a shove, when you fall in love."
Why do we fall in love? What causes it? I contemplate these things late at night I guess. I've been dating this girl for just over a month. I can safely say I'm in love with her, but it's odd. Even leading up to us dating, we said no way. It would never happen.
What caused that shove? I've found her pretty attractive for a long time. I mean, she's really easy to look at. But that's not a big deal to me. She'd always seemed intelligent and easy to get along with, but I didn't want the relationship.
And now I'm one of the happiest guys in the world. 
Sometimes, people are brought into your life. Against your will maybe, but there nonetheless. They come in for a reason, and there's no fighting it. Some call it fate, some god, some even say karma. But the fact is that they are there.
Embrace these people. You'll learn. Life is all about learning. You might even find a huge deep well of happiness, if you're lucky like me.
Thanks,
Tyler,

What I see

I see a lot of things. Last night I spent two hours sitting at Steak and Shake with one of the most fantastic people I know. We wrote poetry back and forth, because she wants to get better at writing. I wrote a line complimenting her smile and she seemed to disregard it as flattery.
As cliche as it sounds, I do wish some people saw themselves through my eyes. It upsets me when I see someone who is nothing but beautiful, and said person rejects it.
I may be unique, but when I compliment you, accept it. I mean what I say. It seems odd and counter-intuitive (I guess compared to normal standards), but little white lies are wrong.
I'm kind of challenging anyone who reads this to find beautiful things about the people around you. Whether it's the fact that you could listen to them laugh for hours, their devotion to their family, their looks, or whatever. Point out how someone is beautiful. Be more positive. Thanks
Tyler.

Sounds

The sound of an engine,
Gravel crunching under tires,
Gears shifting,
Brings memories of nights,
Carefree times.
I want it back,
You bring me back,
Giving me reason to hear,
The sounds of free and happy.
You listen.
The memories are prophecies,
Of freedom ahead.
Freedom and love.

All the Same

I work hard. I really do. I work hard at everything. I'm hard on myself because nobody else will be. I push myself to be good, I push myself to treat people like they deserve. I push myself to love everyone and make everyone around me feel special. I really do.
I give. I give everything I possibly can. But things seem to turn out the same no matter what I try. I show the people I care about that I care the best that I can. I really do. But it seems that no matter what I do, I get treated the same. It doesn't matter if I show someone that I love them, or I just ignore them, I always get the same treatment.
It hurts. It's like everyone sees me as this one dimensional person and that I'm not this guy that really is a good person. I get treated the same.
Does it matter how you treat people, or is it all the same?

Tremble

Sometimes, all I can do is tremble. I am scared. Every day, I wake up wondering.
Wondering if this is what's supposed to be.
Wondering why I have this stuff in my life.
Wondering what I need to do to fix everything.
Wondering if I'll die.
Wondering why I feel so distant all of the time.
Wondering how I can write.
And it all scares me. I'm terrified now. Walking around, sitting in class, watching a movie, talking to friends. Everything scares me. Because I don't know if I'll lose it. I'm scared of my past. I'm scared of my future. And most of all, I'm scared for right now. The present.
I'm scared. All my hands do is tremble if they aren't writing or gesturing wildly. I'm a big bearded guy, and I just want to cry sometimes. Because I don't know. I don't know.
So I tremble. I am just scared.

Life isn't too good this way. Constantly worrying, constantly hurting. It's hard to be brave and smile. It's hard to be brave period. It's hard to keep it up. But I will. I will keep fighting. Every day is a fight, ad we're all battlefields. The most beautiful of battlefields.
Life is a beautiful thing. This is coming from a guy who has had a rough ride, so even if it hasn't been easy, it's still beautiful. Life can't be wasted asking why. It can't be wasted. We are made to love. Not sit back i our fear. Being scared isn't the worst thing. You don't have to be fearless to live, but you have to deal with the fear. And don't let it take you over.
You are alive.
You are breathing.
You are beautiful.
You are loved.
You are you.
Thanks.
Tyler